Shift Your Focus

My superpower is perspective shifting and clarity. I see the pain in my own focus and also in the focus of others. That allows me to understand what the focus needs to be and how to shift it. That is the work I did on myself.

When I was first doing this you may remember that I would have to allow things to happen. I would have to allow whatever it was to play out, consequences and all. I would have to maintain my focus the whole time and try to keep myself from flipping out. It worked. I managed to do it.

You may say that I desensitized myself. What I really did was learn that most of the time the consequences my mind was deathly afraid of weren't that bad. I didn't need to inject all the fear and worry energy into the situation that I was offering. I learned to manage my internal world regardless of what was going on around me.  It didn't stop me from caring about what was happening, it just stopped me from being afraid of it or worried about it.

My focus was very self-protective and defensive. It was always about avoiding or minimizing the pain or struggle that I would have to deal with. But by doing that I limited my power to be okay. I limited my power to have relationships with other people because it made me afraid of other people. I walled myself off from the world around me all the time.

The major lesson in all this was that I didn't have to do that stuff. I had the power to not only be okay, but shift my focus, control my own internal world, and be ready for whatever happened next. I didn't have to be panicked or paranoid. There was nothing to protect myself from.

Where is your focus? What are you currently protecting yourself from? What are you arguing with?

When we focus on problems or self-protection, it causes us to make choices from that energy. Since making choices from pain will usually create more pain, the choices we make from a focus on problems and self-protection won't be great choices. They may not be bad necessarily, but they won't be the choices we want to make either. There will be another option there that we don't think that we can have. Because we're so focused on the problems, we don't let ourselves have the thing we want.

How many times have you wanted to do something or try something and walked away because you were suddenly faced with a problem?

This is where your ability to shift your perspective comes in. Why is that a problem? Why does it need to stop you? What are you afraid is going to happen? Why do you need to protect yourself from that? Why can't you just let things play out and see what happens? What are you afraid of?

When we shift our perspective, we're not denying the problem, we're just not focusing on fear and worry. We're not focusing on bad outcomes. We're focusing on understanding what our experience is trying to show us. It's not showing you that you should give up and walk away, it's showing you what needs to shift. But you're so focused on avoiding pain that you can't see what's being offered to you.

When I would allow things to play out, what I was being offered was the idea that I could handle what happened next. I was being offered the idea that my worry did not change the outcome. I was being offered the idea that I could move forward anyway. I didn't have to be stopped by what was going on around me. I was being offered the opportunity to get control over my internal world so that I didn't have to get upset about everything all the time. The more I focused on the problems the more trapped in my reality I felt. The trap was a lie. The only reason I felt trapped was because of what I was focusing on. Nothing needed to change except what I was paying attention to. When I shifted my focus, I gained my freedom.

Your reality is talking to you and you're too focused on problems to see it. That keeps you stuck in those problems. It doesn't allow you to free up your perspective to see the truth in what's happening. The truth is not that you're being punished or that there is something wrong. The truth isn't even that you shouldn't do what you want to do. The truth is that your focus is wonky and that's what needs to shift. Pay attention to the thing that isn't painful to you and that will give you the freedom to move forward.

When the world tells you it's irresponsible to not pay attention to problems it's because that's how the world keeps you stuck in the problems. The way you take responsibility for yourself is not by focusing on problems, it's by focusing on what you can control, what you would like to see happen and then doing those things.

Your perceived power or lack of it is directly connected to what you're focusing on. The minute you learn how to shift your perspective, you will instantly gain a power you didn't know you had - control over yourself.

You do not have to conform to the feelings of lack or insecurity or powerlessness. You do not have to give into a world that tells you you're not doing it right. You do not have to focus on things just because somebody else offers them to you. You get to decide what you focus on. You do not have to pick up other people's pain. It doesn't mean you can't be compassionate and supportive. It just means you leave their pain where it belongs, with them.

Your ability to control your focus is one of the most powerful weapons you have in your arsenal. You can't protect yourself from the outside world by trying to control the outside world. You protect yourself from the outside world by controlling your focus and what you allow in. You let the outside world do whatever the hell it wants to do and the only thing you focus on is maintaining your own sense of peace and balance within yourself. You do that by managing what you're focusing on. You do that by understanding your point of control.

I'm going to wrap up this blog with a shameless plug. I'm offering some support in shifting your focus for my subscribers over on Patreon. Each tier has a different level of support available in it from simple private messages in Patreon at the lowest tiers to more in-depth support via private Voxer chat at the higher tiers. Pick your tier based on how much support you would like from me, sign up, and get started with me immediately.

This is focus shifting 101. You tell me what's going on for you and I'll show you how to shift your focus away from the problems. I'm not solving your problems, I'm showing you how to stop focusing on them so that you can make better choices. If that sounds like something you would like, click the link to head over to my Patreon page and get signed up today.

Love to all.

Della